What Is Self-Compassion and Why It Matters for Mental Health

Mark Lathrop | January 23, 2025

Do you ever find it hard to be kind to yourself when you make a mistake or feel upset? Many of us are good at showing kindness to others, but we forget to treat ourselves the same way. That’s where self-compassion plays a role.

Self-compassion is about being gentle with yourself, especially during tough times. It’s like giving yourself the same care and support you’d give a close friend. In this article, we’ll explore what self-compassion means, why it’s important for your mental health, and how you can practice it every day.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and care, even when things go wrong. Instead of being hard on yourself, you take a moment to say, “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m doing my best.”

Self-compassion has three main parts:

  1. Self-Kindness
    • This means being kind to yourself instead of criticizing yourself. For example, if you make a mistake, say, “Mistakes happen. I can learn from this,” instead of, “I’m so bad at this.”
  2. Common Humanity
    • This means remembering that everyone struggles sometimes. You’re not alone in feeling sad, worried, or upset—these feelings are part of being human.
  3. Mindfulness
    • Mindfulness means noticing how you feel without judging yourself. Instead of pushing away your emotions, accept them and allow yourself to feel them fully.

Why Self-Compassion Matters for Mental Health

When you practice self-compassion, you build a stronger, healthier mindset. Here’s how it helps:

1. Reduces Stress

When you’re kind to yourself, you feel calmer and more in control. Self-compassion helps you handle stress without adding extra pressure or self-blame.

2. Improves Self-Esteem

Being supportive of yourself can boost your confidence. You learn to value yourself for who you are, not just for what you achieve.

3. Helps You Bounce Back

Life isn’t always easy, but self-compassion makes it easier to recover from setbacks. Instead of feeling stuck in shame or guilt, you can move forward with kindness and hope.

4. Builds Emotional Resilience

When you treat yourself with compassion, you’re better able to handle difficult emotions like sadness, anxiety, or frustration. It’s like giving yourself a mental hug when you need it most.

What Self-Compassion Is NOT

Some people worry that self-compassion might make them lazy or selfish, but this isn’t true.

  • It’s not the same as self-pity: Self-compassion doesn’t mean feeling sorry for yourself. It means recognizing your struggles while still believing in your ability to grow.
  • It’s not being selfish: Taking care of yourself helps you show up better for others.
  • It’s not avoiding responsibility: You can be kind to yourself while still taking steps to improve or make changes.

How to Practice Self-Compassion

If self-compassion feels hard at first, don’t worry—it takes practice. Here are some simple ways to get started:

1. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend

Think about how you’d comfort a friend who’s feeling down. Use that same kindness when you talk to yourself.

  • Instead of: “I can’t believe I messed up again!”
  • Try: “It’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes. What can I do differently next time?”

2. Write Yourself a Kind Note

Write a short, encouraging note to yourself. It could be as simple as, “I’m proud of how hard you’re trying” or “You deserve rest and kindness today.”

3. Take Care of Your Body

Self-compassion includes physical care. Eat nourishing food, get enough sleep, and take breaks when you’re tired.

4. Practice Mindfulness

Spend a few minutes each day checking in with your feelings. Breathe deeply and notice your emotions without judging them.

5. Remind Yourself You’re Not Alone

When you’re struggling, remember that others face challenges too. You’re part of a community where everyone is navigating their own journey and striving in their own way.

Why It’s Worth It

Practicing self-compassion might feel strange at first, especially if you’re used to being hard on yourself. But the more you practice, the more natural it becomes. Self-compassion helps you feel calmer, stronger, and more confident—no matter what life throws your way.

Conclusion

Self-compassion is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. By treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and care, you build a foundation for better mental health and emotional strength.

Start small. The next time you feel upset or make a mistake, pause and ask yourself: How can I be kind to myself in this moment? You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel when you choose compassion over criticism.

 MIND 24-7 offers 24 hours a day walk-in treatment for anyone struggling with mental health or issues with self-worth. All adults and youth are welcome. Most insurances and AHCCCS are accepted. If you or a loved one needs mental health care, visit one of our convenient locations in the Phoenix area or text/call 1-844-MIND247. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone.